our story

Thanks for stopping by to read!  I'm Ashley, wife of an wonderful and handsome businessman and a stay-at-home mom of three great kids... two handsome boys and a darling little girl. I am truly living the life I had always dreamed of as a young girl.  The beginning of this journey didn't start out like I'd imagined, however.  Let me tell you about God's grace to us.

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David and I met at the tender age of 16. He was the "new kid" that had just moved here from Texas.  I'll never forget the first time I ever laid eyes on him.  He was wearing a gray t-shirt.  Everybody was in the gym for a pep rally or an assembly, I can't remember which.  One of my friends pointed him out to me, because she thought he was cute.  I quickly agreed that he was definitely good-lookin'.  Very soon after that, I saw him in the hallway at church.  I was surprised, and excited, to see him there!  I didn't say anything to him yet.  I'm fairly shy, so I didn't have the guts to go up to him and tell him I had seen him at school the other day. 

The next week, I saw him standing in the hallway at school again.  Well, this day I decided to muster up the strength to say something to him.  It would have been rude of me, had I not.  I can't remember exactly what it was that I said, but I introduced myself, and told him that I was from Texas too.  It was a quick conversation, and we went on with our day.

We quickly became friends.  I told him he should start coming to our Wednesday night Bible study for guys and girls.  Then I told him to come to youth group on Saturday nights.  After youth group, everyone would go out afterward to Fat Daddy's, Goodberry's, or someone's house.  We would go to lunch together at school, along with many other friends.  We were great friends, and I'm confident to say he was one of my best friends at the time.  We had a lot in common, laughed together a lot, and just enjoyed each other's company.  I know society says you can't be "just friends" with the opposite sex, but it worked for us.

So I thought.  

Over the course of many months, different people said to me, "You know, you and David would make a really cute couple".  Of course I usually responded with something like, "ha ha, very funny."  You know how it goes.  I honestly just didn't have any sort of romantic feelings for him.  Our friendship was just that.  Friendship. 

 Well (you knew this was coming), eventually, I found myself looking for him in the halls at school.  I would make sure my hair looked fine and that my outfit was cute, for him.  I would get to school, walk down the hall toward my class, and look everywhere for him.  I was super bummed if I didn't get to see him.  I found myself thinking of him more often than usual, and missing him when we weren't together.  I almost couldn't believe myself when I started having these feelings!  

February of our senior year brought us the "Queen of Hearts" dance at school.  QoH is a formal dance our high school has every year, usually close to Valentine's day.  There is a Queen of Hearts Court, complete with a King, Queen, Maid of Honor, and the Queen's court.  This has been a tradition at our high school for  dozens of years, and you probably would only really "get it" if you attended Broughton.  To be on the court, you have to be nominated, then the school gets to vote for whoever they want to be on the court.  Much to my surprise (and by surprise, I mean utter disbelief), I was nominated and chosen to be on the court!  That meant I got to pick one lucky man to be my escort.  Who did I pick?  You got it.

We had an ABSOLUTE blast preparing for this dance.  We had to go to rehearsals, we had to learn how to Waltz... oh, it was just so much fun.  This dance sort of marked the beginning of our relationship.  Although we still had not declared ourselves "official", we basically were.  We knew it, and everyone else knew it.  In April, it was time for Prom.  David asked me to be his date.  (Yes!)

We were nearing high school graduation in May and we were both thrilled that we were going to be so close that fall.  David was accepted to NCSU and I was heading to Meredith College (a private college for women).  These schools are on the SAME ROAD.  Two Miles apart.  Could it get any better than that?!  We were so glad we didn't have to say goodbye to each other.

The summer before college, we had a blast together.  We went to the movies, we hung out with friends, we went to the pool, he took me out for ice cream, we hung out at my house with my family.  We spent  so much time together.  This was also the summer he told me he loved me for the first time.  After about 20 seconds (which felt like 20 minutes to him, I'm sure), I told him I loved him too.  This was the first time either of us had ever said these precious words in a dating relationship.  Be still, my heart!

We both found it difficult to make the transition from seeing each other so often that summer, to starting school in the fall and seeing each other only on the weekends, and only one night a week for Campus Crusade. We both had very busy schedules.  David was working hard at school and was playing football for NC State.  He had to go to practice many mornings and evenings during the week, on top of his school work.  I was in school full time, and working part-time at an after-school program for the YMCA.  

Despite our crazy schedules, our relationship thrived.

At this point in time, David and I both knew we wanted to spend our lives together.  We were 18 years old.  As I'm writing this at 26, I giggle a little bit.  Eighteen sounds so incredibly young, and it is!  We just knew.  We knew we were going to marry one another.  I often thought to myself... I don't think anyone could EVER love anyone else as much as I love this man.  (Does everyone feel that way when they're in love, or was it just me?)  We both had parents with great marriages and grew up witnessing what marriage is all about.  We watched our parents argue, hurt each other, and forgive each other.  We observed our fathers love our mothers, and our mothers respect our fathers.  We watched them hug, kiss, and enjoy the one God gave to them to enjoy for life.

We occasionally talked about our plans for the future.  We talked about when we wanted to get married.  I shared with him my daydreams of getting married the summer before our last year of college.

God had other plans.

We both grew up in wonderful Christian homes.  We both accepted Christ at six years old.  We grew up going to church and wanted to honor and glorify God with every aspect of our lives.  We were both involved in Bible studies our freshman year to further our knowledge and walk with the Lord.  When our dating relationship first began, we established "the rules".  We were not going to have sex before marriage.  This day and age, people who don't sleep together and live together before marriage are definitely in the minority, and often considered "weird".  However, this was something we both believed strongly in, and we were willing to do whatever it took to keep it from happening.  We decided to only hang out in public places.  We decided not to stay out past 10pm.  We read wonderful books and talked to people we highly respected about the best way to keep our relationship healthy.  

The Enemy grabbed our relationship by the foot and would. not. let. go.

Sin leaked its way into our relationship, despite the guards we had tried to put up.  By God's grace, it was not a habitual sin, but it was sin nonetheless.  We felt defeated.  We were so angry.  Not at each other, but at the fact that we had tried so hard to wait, and now it was too late.

  Why couldn't we have stopped it?  How and why did this happen?  Those were constant thoughts running through each of our minds.

A month later, all signs pointed toward the obvious.

  I was pregnant.

There was no way.  It's was impossible!  How on earth did this happen?

Our world completely stopped.  I just wanted to wake up from that horrific dream.  It was such a dark, scary place.  Much to our dismay, it wasn't a dream.  It was reality.

"I can't do this."

 That was the first thought that came into my panicked mind.  "I can't do this."  All I could think about was needing to figure out some way to "erase" this awful situation we had gotten ourselves into.  Without even realizing it, in my mind I was contemplating having an abortion.  Within about five seconds of seeing the dreaded "+" on the test, in my terrified and selfish mind I had come up with a plan to make this happen.  If someone had asked me the day before (or even an hour before) if believed abortion was OK, I would have responded with a very firm "absolutely not.".  I did not condone abortion under any circumstance, but right there in that moment - that was the only option I thought would work for me.  There was just no way I was going to be able to tell anybody about this!  What would my parents think?  My brother and sister?  My grandparents?  My friends?  My Bible study leader?  This is the kind of thing that only happens in movies, right?  It cannot happen to me.  Not me!

David and I sat together moments after discovering that I was pregnant.  I was crying, he was hunched over with his head cradled in his hands.  We were just silent.  It was possibly the worst feeling I have ever experienced in my entire life.  One of us spoke eventually, I can't remember which one, and we got to talking.  We talked for several hours.  After spilling my feelings and everything that was going through my head, I felt slightly more calm.  Slightly.  After allowing everything sink in, my initial thoughts on abortion started to fade.  Slightly.  Within a few more hours, my thoughts disappeared completely. (Up until just a couple of years ago, I carried around a tremendous amount of guilt regarding my thoughts about abortion.  I was so, so burdened.  I finally asked the Lord to take away this guilt, and He was so faithful to remove that burden.  "Come to me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28)

We are going to have a baby.

After confirming that we would, in fact, continue with the pregnancy, we talked about the next steps we needed to take.  We knew we wanted to marry one another.  We had known that for a while.  We knew.  We talked about our options.  Should we just continue dating throughout the pregnancy, and see where we are and how things are going once the baby is born?  Or, do we get married before the baby comes and begin the lives we'd been anticipating for so long?  After thought and prayer, we both felt like getting married was the right step.  We didn't care if people thought we were rushing it, and we figured people might think we believed this was the only option.  We knew it wasn't.  We knew good and well we did not have to get married now, if at all.  David said the next step was for us to tell our parents. 

Oh boy.   Just go ahead and kill me now, please.  Lord, take me Home.

My parents were by far the ones I was most terrified to disappoint.

We got all four of our parents together at the same time to tell them the news.   David told me I didn't need to say a thing, that he would handle everything.  (His maturity blew me away.)  David explained everything to them.  There was silence.  There were tears.  There was no yelling, no anger.  The first thing that came out of my Dad's mouth was, "abortion is not an option".  We assured him that we were not going that route.  

After absorbing the fact that their 18-year-old babies were going to have a baby, they rose out of their chairs to give us hugs.  Hugs.  They told us everything was going to be fine.  After that night, for the first time I did believe everything was going to be fine.  Not easy, but we were going to be okay.

Telling our friends was no small feat.  Being the pleaser that I am, this was incredibly hard for me.  Thankfully, most supported us.  Unfortunately, some did not.  I still remember the ones who said some of the most encouraging things to me during this extremely difficult time.  I remember the way I felt when one friend wrote me a card that read, "Ash, congratulations on your engagement and new baby!"  It was incredibly refreshing to hear those words.  It was honey to my soul!

  I also remember the way I felt when others said they were curious to see how long our marriage lasted.

David proposed in March.  We were with my parents and my sister at the Atlanta Botanical Gardens.  David got down on one knee and asked me to be his wife.  Even though I knew he was going to propose soon, I had no idea when, or where.  I love that he made sure I experienced what I had dreamt about since I was a little girl.  It was the perfect proposal. 

We were married in May, in the beautiful chapel at Meredith College.  Our closest friends, family, and extended family were all there to witness us promise our lives to each other.  What a sweet, perfect day.

  The beautiful month of November rolled around, and our little boy was born.  We were delighted to meet him and welcome him to the world.  After all, the Lord clearly has a purpose for him here.

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It was not easy having a baby at the young age of 19.   David was in school full time, playing football, and working part-time.  I was no longer in school.  I decided to devote my days to raising this child God had given us.

  It's interesting to look back and see how far we have come.  We now have three beautiful children, and we are incredibly happy in our marriage.  We have really enjoyed being young parents and look forward to being empty nesters in our mid-forties. ;)  We couldn't have done it without the Lord's grace and mercy.  We couldn't have done it without the help of our family, and our friends. 

 One thing a friend of the family said to us when we found out we were expecting was, "Isn't it amazing that the Lord can turn our ashes into beauty?" We are sinners, but the Lord cleanses us from that sin and makes us new again. 

 It's still not easy being young parents. We were not as financially "ahead" as some parents are when they start having children.  We don't have a house with a huge fenced-in backyard.  We can't afford a vacation to Disney World.  We can barely afford preschool.  I still get looks at the grocery store because I don't look old enough to have children.  I get asked more often that I should if the children I carry around with me are actually mine.  These things can difficult to bear sometimes, but we just have to constantly remind ourselves that we are where God wants us, and that if we do the job He has assigned us to - raising these precious children - we will be just fine and we know that our reward is in Heaven, not in this world.

"We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to have the life we have waiting for us." -Joseph Campbell