a piece of my heart

Have you ever experienced the following scenario before?...

We are at the mall/park/etc, strolling around as a family, enjoying sights and sounds. Little boy is happy in the stroller, big boy is walking happily and looking around. Up ahead, I notice a random gorgeous girl walking our way. When she gets closer, I glance sneakily over at hubby to see if he notices, and sure enough - he does. He gives her a quick little glance. Did he really just look at her?! My heart starts beating faster and I feel a jealous rage coming on.

Have this ever happened to you? (This is where you rub me on the back and say, "of course it has, sweetie!")

I can be a very jealous wife. Not jealous of what people have, or what people do, but what they look like - only if my husband notices as well. I can see an attractive woman if I'm out and about without him, and think "she is so pretty/cute/gorgeous!" But if my husband notices her, I no longer think she's pretty anymore. I just think she's out to steal glances from innocent men like mine. It's not something I'm proud to feel.

Over the last 6 years we've been married, little scenarios like the ones above have threatened my marriage. I will dwell on them until they start to eat me alive. I let my mind wander to dark places, wondering ridiculous things like "I bet he's still thinking about her", or "he probably thinks she's prettier/skinnier than I am". These kinds of thoughts are like poison to a woman's mind. As a result of my jealousy and worry, I speak unkind words and try to make my husband feel guilty.

The Lord has really been working on my heart lately. I know that the way I respond to those kinds of situations are not honorable. They are not respectful, they are not praiseworthy.

My husband is a human being. A human being that God created in His image, and he is wonderfully and fearfully made. God created men to be visual beings. God created women to be appealing to a man's eye. Who am I to say that my husband isn't allowed to notice an attractive woman?

I have been extremely blessed with a man who respects and honors me: he may notice an attractive woman, but he does not take a second look. He is very intentional in avoiding anything that might cause him to stumble. He turns his head away as we walk by Victoria's Secret or if an inappropriate commercial comes on TV. He does not use the computer when I'm not home. He's incredibly supportive of my desire to block certain channels on our television. He will sit with his back toward a woman who is dressed immodestly. I have a man who desires to honor me and the Lord with his thoughts and actions.

Instead of tearing him down for simply noticing a woman, I am praising him for being a man of honor and not taking it past that. I respect my husband for the choices and steps he takes to protect himself, me, and our marriage. When I start feeling that twinge of jealousy creeping in, I stop and hand it over to the Lord. Then I take a breath and smile for what a great man I have.

Thanks for listening to a little piece of what's been on my heart. Now, go on and praise your husband for something that you love and respect about him.